


The Perfect PA

by rudbeckia



Series: Spookylux Huxloween 2018 [11]
Category: Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Huxloween, M/M, Murder, No Blood, No Gore, Robots, murder not described in detail
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-11
Updated: 2018-10-11
Packaged: 2019-07-20 18:04:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,642
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16142603
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rudbeckia/pseuds/rudbeckia
Summary: Huxloween day 11: Creature creation / mad scienceHux’s software development team is working on a new app that takes the place of a personal assistant, much to Mitaka’s initial dismay. A rival company has offered to collaborate by lending Hux a prototype humanoid robot so that they can upload the app and create an AI-based PA. Hux welcomes the chance to try out such an innovative product for himself.What could possibly go wrong?





	The Perfect PA

The faces around the conference table were so silent that the background hum of the mains electrical wiring was clearly audible to anyone who knew it should be there. Twin fluorescent lights buzzed then flickered once, and a convincing synthesised baritone voice repeated its request.

_”How may I be of assistance today?”_

One satisfied smile faced, in turn, five slight frowns and a deep glower. Mitaka, the least happy of the small assembly, spoke first. “Well, yes. I see the benefits of course. But a human personal assistant is far more flexible and adaptable than an app.”  
Director Sloane nodded to Mitaka. “I understand, Doph. But the company must move with the times and perhaps the age of the human personal assistant is drawing to a close.”  
“No way!” protested Mitaka, leaning forward from his position slightly back from the circle and clutching his notepad and pencil, to address Hux. “If this personal assistant app can replace me for one week with you finding no fault with it, I will quit. If you find you require a more personal touch, I will stay. For a price.”  
“And the price will be?” asked Hux, turning his green-grey eyes on his human assistant.  
Mitaka sat back. Sloane and the other department heads watched him.  
“Hmm. A pay rise. Fifteen percent.”  
“Hah!” Hux shook his head. “I could promote Thanisson into your position for three percent on top of what I pay him now. But I see the benefit of incentivising this trial. You can have five percent if you prove you are more useful than the app, and a seat at this table when we are planning upgrades.”  
Mitaka’s eyebrows rose. He took a breath and held it for the two seconds it took to comprehend the offer of a promotion into the development team. “I agree,” he said, and Hux nodded.  
“Good. I’m sure the people at Empire Dynamics’ _Techniques in Robotic Intelligence Trials Team_ working with us on our _Outsourced Personal Assistant Network_ would agree that we would all benefit from your valuable input in developing this app into something highly profitable. Let me show you phase two.”  
The screens set into the conference table flickered into life and a slick video talked everyone through a planned collaboration between First Order Software Engineering and Empire Dynamics. Looking over Hux‘s shoulder, Mitaka gaped at the screen. “You’re planning to make a... a... _robot_ personal assistant? Not just an app?”  
“Of course!” Hux said with a supercilious smile. “I need a PA who can bring me a cup of tea as well as organise my schedule for the day. An app can’t carry a tray. Speaking of tea,” he said, “be a dear.”  
Mitaka leaned forward, face carefully neutral to hide his glee. “Perhaps you could ask your app to get it for you. Or do you admit that I’m already more useful?”  
Hux’s face coloured and Sloane laughed loud. “He got you, Armitage. I’ll get on to personnel by the end of the day to see about his raise and secondment.”

 

One week later, the same group sat around the same table, only Mitaka’s place was at Hux’s side with his own copy of Hux’s report—marked here and there with three different highlighters—rather than slightly behind him with only a notepad and a pencil. Hux started with a curt greeting then got right to business. “I must say I am impressed so far,” he said. “I have found that OPAN remains calm and polite when ordered to repeat tasks, and it double, triple or quadruple checks facts and figures without complaint. OPAN has a command of vocabulary and grammar backed up by the most comprehensive online dictionaries.” Hux smiled. “As you can probably tell from the quality of the report you have all no doubt read and annotated.”  
Mitaka glanced at the papers lying in front of everyone. He smirked when he saw that two people hadn’t even left a crease by the staple and imagined what Hux would say to them later about that.  
“In most respects, OPAN is the perfect personal assistant. It can make a limited range of work-related suggestions without being prompted to do so, but it falls short of the personal touch. For example, it would not automatically check birthdays and order appropriate gifts.”  
Sloane looked sharply at Hux. “Are you telling me that all these years you’ve gotten your assistant to choose my birthday gifts?” Hux faltered. Mitaka caught Sloane’s eye and looked away. Sloane smiled. “Thank you, Doph. You have exquisite taste.”  
“Well that’s beside the point!” Hux snapped. “By the time we are ready to integrate OPAN with the TRITT unit, we need to develop OPAN into an app that can anticipate such personal services and fulfil them without the busy executive having to remember birthdays on top of every other important date.”  
Mitaka leaned closer to Hux. “Don’t worry,” he murmured. “I sent Ben a voucher for a Formula Three racetrack experience on your behalf.”  
Hux acknowledged Mitaka’s thoughtfulness with a sighed reply of, ”Oh, stars, no.”

“Well then,” Hux said after going through his report point by point. “Mitaka, I want you to liaise with me on which improvements should be included in the next upgrade. As head of programming, Sloane will oversee the additional coding and integration with TRITT’s prototype bipedal, humanoid robot. The Empire Dynamics people would prefer that we call the integrated piece of tech a ‘synthetic human’ rather than an android or an artificial intelligence. Any comments on that?”  
Sloane shrugged. “A rose by any other name would still have thorns.”  
“Indeed.” Hux smiled. “Meeting closed. ‘Tak, with me.”

Two weeks later, Sloane, Mitaka and Hux stood up to greet three members of Empire Dynamics. The first, a grey haired, blue eyed, abruptly spoken man shook Hux firmly by the hand and introduced himself.  
“Krennic. Director. Knew your old man.” Hux merely nodded and looked at the second person. “This is Erso,” said Krennic. “Chief scientist. Now. Tarkin wants your initial report as soon as possible.”  
“I’m sure he does,” said Hux with an obsequious smile that made Mitaka shudder. Hux turned to look at the third person from Empire and his jaw dropped. This is... Is this...”  
Krennic snorted. “Hah! Yes. This prototype is the fruit of our combined labour. TRITT OPAN. Tritt, please step forward and greet your new master. In future, we intend to merge the synthetic human PA project with our booming sexbot department to create a luxury model aimed at the modern business type who likes to fuck the secretaries.”  
Armitage didn’t dare meet Mitaka’s eyes, or Sloane’s. The synthetic human extended a hand. “Pleased to meet you, Armitage Hux. Would you like me to talk you through my custom setup options?”  
Sloane walked around Tritt Opan slowly. “He’s impressive, isn’t he?” she asked. Hux nodded. Mitaka remained silent. “Go on then,” Sloane said to Hux. “Shake hands.”

Hux remained in his office with Tritt Opan while Sloane and Mitaka made sure that their counterparts from Empire saw and heard nothing that was not directly related to their collaborative project. Once the visitors were gone, Mitaka and Sloane joined Hux.  
“I have him all set up the way I want and he’s amazing,” said Hux. Opan stood with a calm smile on his bland face, brow smooth and head facing forward as if looking at nothing. “Opan, please reserve a table for two at _The Supremacy_ for tonight and optimise my afternoon schedule so that I will have time to shower and change before I go out.”  
“Yes, sir,” replied the synthetic human. “Ben Solo is currently at Silverstone driving laps at an unsafe speed. Would you like me to inform him that you plan a birthday treat?”  
“No. I will tell him myself. Now. Tell me what data Krennic and Tarkin want you to report back to them.”  
“Energy usage breakdown for my processors and memory units. Statistics on the types of tasks I perform and your perceived satisfaction with my performance. A detailed log of every command I process. Audio and text transcription of all conversations directly or indirectly concerning the Starkiller project.”  
Sloane stared in shocked silence. Mitaka muttered, “kriffing knew it.”  
Hux’s face set in stone. “Tell me please,” he said after a few seconds. “Did anyone order you not to tell me that?”  
“Yes, sir. Krennic made it quite clear that utmost secrecy was required or I would be ‘up battery creek without a charger’.”  
“So you are capable of disobediende and disloyalty?”  
“Yes, sir.” Opan turned his brown eyes on Hux. “I choose to obey you because you gave me my charger cable before I had to ask for it, and you speak to me as a human. Tarkin and Krennic do not. I owe them nothing.”  
“I see,” said Hux, frowning. “So Tarkin and Krennic intend to steal or sabotage the innovative work that goes on here at First Order. How do you suppose we can prevent that from happening?”  
Mitaka might have been mistaken, but he was sure a smile flickered over Opan’s slack expression.

Hux got home in time to tell Ben to get changed for a celebration dinner at a fancy restaurant. They wrestled and giggled over who got to use the shower first, but decided the contest was a dead heat and squeezed into the enclosure together.  
“I wish I’d come home earlier,” said Hux. “We could have had more time to shower.”  
“Together?” said Ben, soapy hands slipping over Hux’s backside. Hux laughed.  
“There’s no time! Reservation is for seven. Opan had to be very persuasive and tenacious to get anything earlier than ten thirty.”  
“Opan? Isn’t that the new app you’ve been talking about for the past month?”  
“Yes.” Hux rinsed away the soap and shut off the spray. “He’s very good.”  
“He? I kind of pictured Alexa when you described it.”  
“He’s more than just an app now. Let’s have dinner and you can tell me what a great racing driver you are, then if it’s not too late we can go to my office and you can see what I mean.”

 _The Supremacy_ was fancy enough that Hux felt he belonged there and Ben felt that he did not. Relieved to be back outside after three courses separated by small treats that Hux called ‘amuse-bouches’ and Ben called ‘weird little snacks’, Ben took Hux’s hand and pulled him towards the taxi rank. “Come on then, show me your new obsession.”  
The taxi dropped them off and Hux let them into the darkened building through a side door with his security pass. He led Ben to his office and unlocked it. “He should be in here lying on the sofa, plugged in for an overnight trickle charge,” he said, pushing the door open and activating the lights. “Opan? Are you on— I mean, are you awake?”  
Hux frowned. Ben looked around the empty office and settled his attention on the charger cable that led from its bulky mains plug and trailed across the cushions. He shrugged. “You think someone stole it?”  
Hux was already out of the office and running to the security station by the main entrance. He halted in the corridor and Ben almost ran into his back. Another man walked towards them.  
“Good evening, sir. Did you have a pleasant meal? You must be Ben. Pleased to meet you.”  
“Ben,” said Hux. “This is Tritt Opan. Opan?”  
“Yes, sir?”  
“Where were you?”  
Opan tilted his head slightly and smiled. “I went for a walk, sir. I understand if that appears suspicious from your point of view, given our earlier conversation. Would you like access to my recent memory files to check that I was not spying for Krennic?”  
“Yes, please.”

Hux turned and walked back into his office. Opan followed Hux and Ben followed Opan. Once there, Opan stood still and allowed Hux to connect the computer to a port in his arm. Hux clicked a few times, frown deepening.  
“Opan, you were at Empire’s research facility this evening.”  
“Yes, sir. I recommend that you keep watching my video capture of this evening’s events.”  
Ben walked around the desk and stood beside Opan, behind Hux, and rested his hands on the back of Hux’s chair. On screen, in low resolution monochrome, Krennic came into view, face looming large in the field of view.  
“Opan, give me audio.”  
_”Goddamn idiot machine. What have you been doing all evening. Sponging electricity? Have you nothing for me at all?”_  
_”I have this, director.”_  
Krennic’s eyes opened wide and his mouth made a round _oh!_ shape, then he fell out of view. Erso arrived, looked down, looked up at Opan with horror and held out his hands, palms out.  
_”Drop the knife, Tritt. Please. We can fix this as long as Tarkin doesn’t ever know. Do you trust me?”_  
_”Yes. Tarkin is currently marching along the main corridor. I told him I was here. You should hide, Galen.”_  
On screen, Galen Erso looked shocked but vanished from view. The scene shifted as Opan turned his head, panning the small camera that sat inside his left eye. Tarkin looked furious.  
_”What in the name of—”  
_ There was a loud bang and the screen went blank.

Opan smiled. “As you have seen, I betrayed no secrets. Galen helped me to make it look as if Tarkin stabbed Krennic and Krennic shot Tarkin. I chose that laboratory because it has no security camera, and I left no trace evidence of my involvement. Galen securely disposed of all files relating to the TRITT and OPAN collaboration. With Krennic gone, Galen will take over TRITT and redirect its research efforts away from the _Death Star_ autonomous weapons project. With Tarkin gone, Empire poses no significant threat to First Order’s expansion into military applications with _Starkiller_.”  
Ben slid his hand down to squeeze Hux’s shoulder. Hux stared at the blank screen for a full minute then shook himself. “If the collaborative project is burned, what do I tell my investors, Opan? If there is no product to develop, what do my product developers do tomorrow?” Hux’s voice started quiet but ended with a shout.  
Opan was silent. Hux closed his eyes and shook his head. Ben could sense his growing despair like a tidal surge behind a crumbling sea wall.  
“Wait.” Hux said. He looked up and frowned at Opan. “When did you first become aware of your data input and retrieval systems?”  
Opan’s brows lowered as if to match Hux. “Please clarify.”  
“I mean,” said Hux, “At what point in your development did you deliberately pull a file from your data banks without being asked?”  
“He means,” said Ben, “what is your first memory.”  
Opan smiled at Ben. “Thank you for phrasing that in a more appropriate manner. I became self-aware approximately fourteen microseconds after OPAN was uploaded and installed successfully to this TRITT prototype.”  
“So,” Hux said, “the OPAN app can be used without gaining sentience as long as it is not joined with a TRITT module?”  
Opan thought for half a second. “I think so,” he said.  
“Good,” replied Hux. “In that case we can plough on with the OPAN app, rename it, and tell everyone that TRITT was unsuccessful and that’s probably why Krennic and Tarkin fought. Opan, can you securely delete... I mean _forget_ this evening’s events and replace the missing memories with... something else.”  
Ben laughed. “Cat videos.”  
Opan settled to charge, and Hux and Ben called a taxi to take them home.

Once safely inside, Ben turned to Hux. “You were right,” he said as he slipped off his coat and slid off his shoes. “He is _very_ good. I’d hate to be standing in the way of First Order now you have Tritt Opan on your side.”


End file.
